A Season of Fates Perfection

Clarice

I hate the sensation of falling. White noise of fast moving air pierced my attuned ears in such a way, everything became silent. The sharp, needle-like fingers of fear gripped my inner being ruthlessly. I felt the cool chains along my body shift, both dull and sharp pain seared across my skin. My hair and feathers whipped against my face, little pinpricks that kept me conscious and aware. All in my limited vision was the starless blur of the purple-black sky. I wanted to scream. I wanted to writhe and rip at the chains that contained me. But I could not. I was sentenced to fall miles in the air and hit the ground. I was to suffer. There was no going back and no home to return to. All I knew no longer mattered. I wished I could really die.

Lukas

My stomach rumbled angrily as I pulled myself out of bed and stared blearily at the clock. 4:30 AM.
"Really?" I sighed as another sharp hunger pang coursed through my abdomen. I had recently taken a job at a large New York 24-hour Taco Bell to have a bit of money for necessities through college. My parents wanted nothing to do with me, "the art major," so they certainly never sent me any cash. I lived in the "Big Apple" and they don't even care that I can barely afford to feed myself.
I padded heavily into the kitchen and made myself a messy ham sandwich. I took a bite and grimaced. Too much mayo. Nonetheless I kept eating it and leaned tiredly against the crappy island. I gazed, only half processing, out one of the few small windows in my apartment. I grumbled at the dark flurry specks of snow in the night sky outside.
"Way to go, Luke . . . Pick the Taco Bell. Sure the manager might give you weird shifts all the time, but whatever, you'll be fiiiine. . . you don't need SLEEP." I bit my finger as I pushed the last of the sandwich in my mouth. I swore loudly, pain causing my eyes to focus just as a large, white bird, covered in tight chains, fell like a stone through the darkness.

Clarice

The sound of  high pitched whistling chorused in my ears viciously as my immortal body hit whatever awaited me on earth. Pain blocked all of my senses as I felt my consciousness slip away.
Is this death? My thoughts melted away and pain dictated it all. I was gone.

Lukas

"What the . . . ?" I came very close to throwing open the window and leaping out of it without pants. I raced through the small space putting on pants and a coat in a mad, thoughtless effort to get down there. I scrambled down the staircase of my mediocre apartment complex and into the deserted alleyway as fast as my legs would move me.
It was lying on several snow covered broken boxes in plain sight in the mouth of the alley. IT just so happened to be a her. A brilliantly beautiful woman with large dove white wings lay crumpled in the small space, wrapped tightly in silver chains. The creature had an immortal glow to her skin that made her look like some sort of a "higher being." A real live angel.
Awestruck I stood staring at her, laying on a thin blanket of snow until I lost all the feeling in my feet. She hadn't moved but I knew she was alive by the slight rise and fall of her stomach through the falling white flakes. My body began to move and I carefully pulled the chains off of her. As the last of the metal fell away, her wings dissolved into the air and her skin dulled to human coloring. Hesitantly, I lifted her knowing that if she were to stay there, she wouldn't survive. She was cold and delicate like a dying bird in the snow.

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I got her inside my apartment and placed her gently on my old, overstuffed, brown couch. I stood there staring at her in sheer awe. Her skin was flawless and pale like a fine porcelain doll with soft features. Long black lashes brushed her flushed cheeks and long, wavy black hair billowed around and beneath her like spilled ink. She seemed to be wrapped in a white sheet with a silver tassel at the waist. Around her neck she had an intricate small golden cross and chain that rested in the hollow of her neck naturally.
My adrenaline subsided and a calm feeling took its place. I could feel myself begin to crash. I pulled a woolen blanket over the strange beauty and sat in a nearby lounge chair.  I blinked slowly as a thick fog rolled over my mind. It might have been my imagination, but right before I fell asleep, I saw her sigh.

Clarice

My eyes opened slowly and I felt myself return to my usual awareness. Wait, no, not at all, somehow, all of my senses were dulled. I assumed it was part of my punishment. Winter on Earth.
I slowly sat up and a thick winter blanket slipped off of me. I blinked confused,  and looked around taking in my surroundings carefully. I appeared to be in a small space, a living room with a gray carpet, a small TV in the corner, a radio on the floor and a-! Oh my! An attractive man with a lean muscled, wiry build, auburn red hair and a matching go-tee, lay sprawled in a worn recliner. Even from where I sat, I could see he had light freckles that dashed across his face and a strong jaw line that gave him an air of power.
Why hadn't I sensed his presence? I furrowed my brow, annoyed mostly at myself. I had to get out of there, something just didn't seem right to me. Ah, I knew, I felt far too comfortable. I stood silently and held my breath hoping to walk out of there without waking the man who must have taken me out of the cold and into his home. I appreciated his hospitality; however, it would have been best if he hadn't seen me at all.
The man did not stir and I nervously left the room, and moved down a short hallway where the icy scent of morning air emitted from the cracks of the worn front door. I reached my hand out to unlock the door.
Ka-click!
I had my hand on the door knob when a low male voice, rough with sleep, broke the still quiet of the apartment.
"Wait, don't go!" A thread of panic could be detected in his voice. His soft, warm green eyes met mine as I turned slightly to look at him.
"Please don't..." He took a step toward me. My uneasiness must have been clear because he almost immediately took a step back.
"Why did you bring me here?" My smooth voice was authoritative and threatening. The strange man seemed to be unable to answer, confusion passing over his face. Emotions moved freely in his features and I knew immediately that this man was an open book. I was careful to keep my expression stone neutral.
"You were falling from the sky.... I just-! I went on impulse... I saw you there..." He pointed to a small window that I didn't bother to glance at. I stood there silently, trying to decide my next move.
"My name is Lukas Reeves... " He spoke slowly and clearly as if trying frantically not to startle a terrified animal. Despite the uneducated, frazzled look about him, the intelligence in his eyes left me with many questions. No matter how curious I was, I needed to forget now.

Lukas

Every molecule in my body wanted desperately for her to stay. My heart beat felt hummingbird fast and just as desperate as the rest of me. I wanted to reach out and pull her away from the frosty air outside, not wanting to lose this beautiful creature posing as a woman with her enchanting, supernatural ice blue eyes. I could see through her piercing gaze and into the tangled emotions that she clearly didn't want me to see. My heart began to ache in the sorrow I saw there. She had seen things I could never imagine, I could tell but I still wanted to know.
"Please… I want to help you…" I don't know why I said it but it seemed to be the wrong thing to say because her eyes became brittle spears. Without another word from her plush perfect lips, she disappeared. The cold air that flooded the suddenly vacant hallway caused a violent shiver to pass over me. I knew I wouldn't be able to chase her, so I didn't try. Eyes wide and panicked, I called out and prayed that she'd hear me.
"What is your name?!" A whisper in the chilled wind caressed my face and I knew.

         Clarice.

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        Several weeks had passed as early December left and Christmas arrived, yet still no sign of Clarice. My search seemed perpetual, as I moved sluggishly through my days longing to see her brilliant blue eyes again. As if life wasn't meaningless enough. Even my favorite foods seemed to lose its flavor.
Clarice glided gracefully through my dreams every night since she had left. Every time she appeared, her sorrowful wails disturbed me so much that I felt as if I needed to sacrifice myself for her, to protect her somehow. I would wake gripping my chest after gruesomely ruining myself to save my angel repeatedly in my dreams. After some time, I would expect her tears and before her weeping could overwhelm me with emotion, I would try a different way to ask her why she cried. Depending on how I asked, the results differed and my "leaps of faith" on her account were more or less severe. Though, no matter how I approached her, I always take some sort of wrath for her.
It was eating me up inside that I couldn't see her. Depression was gradually consuming me and I'd find myself drawing detailed pictures of her gorgeous face in anything I could get my hands on. Charcoal, paint, pencils, anything and everything! Covering my small apartment with my many works of her. Staring at the elegant pictures eased me only slightly yet gave me a very hollow feeling in my chest. My obsession with Clarice was horrible but I couldn't do anything about it.
Still the days dragged on and I felt myself wasting away.

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Clarice

          It was Christmas Eve and the enormous Christmas tree loomed over me as I hastily pressed my hands deeper into my ratty jacket. I clenched my teeth, willing myself not to be cold. Having gazed up at the glowing evergreen, the florescent reds, greens, and yellows had me hypnotized in the heavy flurry of snow. My life on earth had been very, very difficult since I had left Lukas Reeves' apartment. I had nothing to determine if I would have a next meal or a place to sleep at night. I had no experience with this harsh new life.
The reoccurring hunger pang reminded me that I hadn't had anything to eat all day and night had fallen hours ago. I wrapped my arms around my torso and began to pray.
Please, please forgive me. Take me home, please.
I hadn't realized I had been crying up at the tree until I noticed my cheeks stung as my tears froze on my face. I quickly brushed them away and looked out into the sea of the busy happy bodies of Christmas goers, buying gifts for their loved ones.
A hint of a smile for their happiness tugged at my lips when a face in the mass stood out. My eyes widened and my breath caught.
Could it be?

Lukas

          I dragged myself through Central Park and looked up at the impressive tree in front of me. The bags under my eyes had gotten worse and I knew I was leaving long scuff tracks in the thick snow where I just didn't feel the need to pick up my feet. I sighed heavily and resented coming there. I had figured the hoards of happy people and "Christmas Spirit" would cheer me up a little and allow me to forget for a moment.

         It didn't. At all.

         I sighed and turned away from the tree heading for home, knowing that it was a waste of time and energy to have come at all.
Then I saw her. Her black hair was messy and mangled and her human clothes looked as if she had pulled them from a trashcan. Standing there, not twenty feet away was a dirty, tear-stained, hurting ageless looking woman. My angel.
My feet moved without my knowing as I weaved and bumped through the crowd toward her, my eyes for her and only her. I felt her name form on my lips.
         "Clarice!" In a matter of seconds I was standing right next to her. I couldn't bring myself to touch her but I wanted to. I hadn't felt so alive in almost a month.
I whispered her name again.
         "Clarice…" I had dreamt for such a long time to be doing this but I couldn't find the words. From this distance, she looked even worse. She looked weak and near death starving, yet her eyes were very bright and alive.
"Lukas… I… I never thought I would see you again…" I could sing, with joy! Her voice made my heart soar. Her each syllable she spoke was like a note to a sweet, angelic melody.
"I never dreamed I would see you again either! Oh man am I so glad to see you…" I felt myself begin to babble so I stopped talking. I fought such a strong urge to draw her close and hug her.
         "Clarice," I said all too serious, " do you have a place to stay?" I knew I needed her with me. It felt so important.
The beautiful woman opened her mouth to speak but choked softly and couldn't produce the words. She shook her head and tears streamed down her cheeks. At the sight of her suffering, the same feelings I felt in my dreams overcame me and I pulled her close to me. This incredible stranger needed me.

Clarice

          I cried in his chest for a long moment before I realized I had to confide in this man. My arms moved around him and pulled him closer to me, his body so much warmer than mine.
          "Please help me…" Even to me, my soft voice sounded weak and pathetic.
          "I'm so tired, and hungry, and I can barely stand…" I could just hear his heart breaking at the sound of my voice.
          He nodded and stroked my dirty hair so gently I began to cry again. After some time, he pulled away and wrapped an arm around me guiding through the many people. It felt like a mile before we got to his car. I slipped inside the passenger's side, the leather smell was crisp and calming. The comfortable chair almost brought me to tears again, this seat being one of the most comfortable things she had sat in since she'd arrived on earth.
          Lukas had gotten in once I was safely inside, and turned on his car. He drove us to his home, the silence of the car felt comfortable to both of us and his presence made me feel like there might just be hope for me yet. I prayed a silent prayer to God.

Thank you for him. Please, Lord, please pull me through…

Lukas

          I parked the car and brought Clarice inside. I couldn't help but worry about what she may think of all the pictures in my space.
She made a soft gasp as she took in all the paper on my walls in my apartment. Some drawings were detailed pictures from my dreams. Others were close-ups on her brilliant eyes. Vibrant colors and intense shades of all different art styles and techniques covered every scrap of white on my walls but all of the same subject: Clarice.
I looked at her searching her face for any sign of alarm or uneasiness. She cupped her hand over her mouth and began to cry again, the warmth of the apartment physically relaxing her. She stood and cried staring at my obsession on the walls.
I gave her a moment to let it out, knowing living in New York City on the streets for almost a month must have been very hard, but to have done that during winter? Unbearable I was sure.  I leaved her to the pictures and found some comfortable fresh clothes for her.
          "Clarice?" I offered her a soft smile, "I have clean clothes for you… Why don't I show you how the shower works?" I kept relaxed and calm for her sake.
She nodded, taking the clothes, and let me lead her to the bathroom. I gave her the instructions she needed and left her to bathe. Entering my kitchen, I made soup for her and toasted bread. I couldn't imagine how awful she must have been feeling, starving for so long.  
          Thoughts and questions filled my head as I pulled off my jacket finally getting comfortable now that Clarice was safe. I could feel the hollow bit of my chest fill again with emotions and life. She had come back to me.

Clarice

          The hot water felt like the best thing I had felt in some time. I watched the dirt and grime swirl down the drain from my hair and skin and I couldn't help but relax again. Maybe it wasn't a bad thing that I had felt so comfortable here. It felt…right somehow.
          I left the bathroom feeling clean, warm, and refreshed. The only thing missing was a hot meal. I followed the smell of hot soup and fresh bread to the kitchen and walked in just as my stomach snarled viciously.
          Lukas was sitting at an island in the kitchen with an empty bowl of soup in front of him and a full bowl with bread on the side next to him. I sat there without hesitating and ate the food as fast as I could without burning myself.
Lukas looked over at me and chuckled lightly.
          "You look much better, Clarice." The sound of my name on his lips felt so right, I couldn't respond. It felt like he made any excuse to say my name, too, which gave me the feeling he wanted to hear it said just as much as I did.
          I finished the soup and bread and sipped at a glass of milk. I felt so amazing now that I almost began to cry again, so thankful for his hospitality.
          "Thank you so much, Lukas. . . Really. You are so kind to me. . . and these pictures are very beautiful." My eyes wandered around the space as I spoke, spending even amounts of time on each one. I felt like I couldn't repay him.
          "Anytime!" He blurted the word as if he was just too eager to help me. I almost began to cry again. This man was just so amazing to me.


Lukas

          Questions rose in my throat and I had to swallow them before they reached my lips. She needed time to settle and I was happy to give it to her. All the time she needed was fine with me, as long as I got to spend it with her.
Though I just couldn't take it anymore.
          "Where did you come from?" The words were so sudden that I startled myself a little.
          Clarice sighed softly, knowing she would have to answer me at some point.
          "I lived in heaven. I am an angel. Er- well, was…" Her face fell slightly, as many emotions passed in her eyes. I nodded and asked the follow-up question.
           "I see…Why did you fall?" My questions were almost child-like but I HAD to ask. I needed to know.
           "I… was cast from heaven by God as punishment…" Her brows furrowed and she rested her head in a hand as she leaned over the island.
           "I questioned Him. I was disrespectful to Him and He sent me away. Not permanently but… for long enough to understand the severity of my actions. He told me that because I had sinned as a human would, that I would live a time as a human to understand the consequences of human actions." Her voice shook softly as depression and shame crossed her eyes.
           My heart ached for her and I thought I understood so I nodded quietly.
           "How long do you stay here…?" I was afraid to ask this question but it was very important that I knew just how much time I had left with her.
           "This Winter. That's All." Her expression and voice was blank, not really knowing how to think about it, I assumed.
           "I see…" I nodded again. I was out of questions suddenly but I understood now why she cried. I knew those nightmares wouldn't ever come back if she stayed here with me.
           I stood up and took our dishes away and placed them in the sink. I turned back to look at her and I found her watching me interestedly as if my normal habits were highly interesting.Moving around the island to her and I helped her stand. I wrapped her in my arms gently and held her close.
          "I'm so sorry these things happened to you…." I stroked her damp, coal black hair gently and soothingly. She relaxed into me and I stood with her for a long moment just holding her.
          "Will you let me help you, now?" I couldn't mask the note of need in my voice. I needed to protect her.
          "Yes…" she whispered softly as she wrapped her frail arms around me too.
          "Thank you."
          It was the words "Thank you" from her lips that made me fall in love with her. It was right then that I understood I was in love and that there would be nothing to stand in my way of that. Ever.

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          Late March came too soon. There were days where the weather felt too spring to be winter, and others where the weather felt too winter to be spring. I began to grow fond of the icy, blustery days because I knew I could spend them with Clarice. Everyday with her had felt like new life, dreams, and sweet caresses.  We hadn't even kissed yet but we were perfectly fine with that. Sitting on my living room couch curled up with Clarice was good enough for me.
          Occasionally we would go on little dates in the park or just down the street and get a hot drink. We would hold hands and laugh and smile and be near one another. I'd never felt so happy in my life.
          That is what living is. Clarice and me.

Clarice

          The last few days had been heartbreaking for me. I had fallen very much in love with Lukas though it was never spoken aloud from either of us. With great unhappiness, I felt my time on earth coming to an end. Each day would get more and more risky. Yesterday I felt an aching tug in my chest when I saw a bird flying by in the park. I felt the need to fly as high as I could go and find God again.
I didn't want these days to end with all of my heart, but the inevitable would snatch it all away no matter what I say.

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Lukas

           I walked with Clarice down the street late at night headed back to my apartment from a nearby coffee shop. Night had fallen and her fingers were laced in mine as we walked down the street, huddling in the cold.
           Clarice smiled up at me and nuzzled her face into my neck for a moment. I chuckled lightly and cringed at the same time as her cold nose came in contact with my neck. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders pulling her closer.
           Neither of us had spoken, though we didn't need to. Being together was so easy.
We passed a dark alley about a block or so from my complex when I noticed movement in the opening. I turned my head to see two men walking predatorily toward us. One had a gun and the other with a gleaming silver baseball bat.
          Clarice froze next to me and fear filled her eyes as she stared at the men coming toward us.
          My heart began to beat faster and adrenaline coursed through me. The thoughts that dictated me the most were:
   Got to run. Flee.
   Clarice! She's got to be safe. She needs to run!
   No, they are too close…

          The man with the gun clicked off the safety with an impossibly loud noise in the quiet of the street. They were to close now to run away.
          "Clarice….run…." I spoke the words barely above a whisper. Clarice tore her eyes away from the danger to meet mine, disbelief and fear showed in her face.
          "L-Lukas…" She didn't want to leave me but she knew this was too serious.
          "Clarice!" This was the first time I had ever spoken sternly to her, "Run! NOW. I'll be right behind you!" I pushed her fast in the direction of our home. Clarice stumbled in the right direction and hesitated just a moment longer before making a mad dash toward the apartment.
          The man with the bat, short and strong advanced on me then swinging for my side. I leapt backwards just out of the bat's reach. My breath quickened  as I dodged another swing. I lunged forward suddenly on his off-swing and I leaned back, my weight behind it and punched him in the face. He saw stars I could tell. I had almost forgotten the man with the gun because suddenly a third man ran at me and punched me across the face.
          My ears rang loudly as the second man with the bat made a heavy swing that collided painfully into my abdomen.
          "AHHK!" I keeled over and landed on my hands and knees. They took a moment to laugh darkly as I stood again. I lurched forward and punched the third man several times to the jaw, successfully knocking him out. The bat connected with my back and sent me into the cold ground. I gritted my teeth chocking back a groan of pain.
I rolled to my side and looked up just in time to see the man raise his bat above his head and swing down on my exposed side. I cringed and let out a yelp in pain. I kicked out, as he took a moment to rewind, and heard a satisfyingly sickening crack as I took out his knee.
          He hit the ground wailing loudly. I pulled myself up as fast as I could and looked around dripping my torso with an arm.
          I heard a sharp click of a gun behind me and I slowly turned to face my enemy.
Several feet away, the man with the gun stood pointing the barrel at my stomach. Fear ripped through me.

Am I going to die? When I didn't get to say goodbye to Clarice? No… it can't end this way…

         "Please… Don't do this… please…" I was trying anything and everything to survive.

         "Please-!

The deafening silence that followed the blast roared in my ears.


          I closed my eyes and waited for the exploding pain that never came. After a moment I opened my eyes to see the worst thing possible in front of me.
Clarice.
          She stood, her arms spread wide like wings, protecting me. She made a choked inhale noise and the sound of raw pain escaped her. She fell to the ground to the icy layer of snow. Her blood began to stain the white of the ground.
  The attackers sprung up at the sound of the gun, saw the scene and scattered. The murderers escaped in the night, all quiet but for the sounds of Clarice, choking on her pain.
          "CLARICE! NO!" I lurched forward landing next to her. I cradled her in my arms.
          "Please! No don't leave me, Clarice! You cant leave me!" I began to cry, tears streamed down my face as my whole world was being ripped away from me.

          Don't… leave me….

Clarice

          Thinking wasn't an option. Just action. Just movement. Lukas.

          I laid there looking up at Lukas, in his arms. Unbelievable pain coursed through my whole side and I couldn't feel the cold. I offered a smile and raised an arm brushing my fingertips across his cheek in a caress, brushing tears away.
          "Lukas…" My voice was soft and faint. " I…Love you…"
Suddenly Lukas began sobbing uncontrollably. He stroked my hair and face. I felt myself losing consciousness.
          "Clarice! S-Stay with me!" His voice was so unsure and fearful that I forced my eyes open again.
          "I love…you…" I said it again, needing to make sure he knew.
          "I love you more…." His voice wavered and he held me close.
          "Clarice… please don't… please don't go…." His green eyes bore into mine, willing me to live.
          I smiled gently again at him and caressed his face.
          "Shhhh… my love… All will be well… You will …see me again… We will be together… promise…." I reached to my neck and snapped off my beautiful intricate gold cross and chain from around my neck and offered it to him.
          He took it but held my eyes with his.
          "I love you… I love you so much… don't lea-" I pressed my finger against his lips.
          "Shhh… Lukas… I'm… just… going home…" I smiled faintly, feeling myself slipping.

          My love…

Lukas

          My heart was being ripped out and torn to pieces. Clarice was my everything. I took her gift gripping it tight.
          I leaned down and kissed her as gently and as meaningfully as I could. Just barely, she smiled in the kiss and kissed me back. I pulled back a few inches to see her eyes again. Her skin began to glow and her wings spread from her back, soft feathers around us both. She offered one more smile to me, unable to speak. She mouthed my name, her blue eyes sparkling and she faded away.
          I sat in the snow crying heavily holding her cross to my chest, thinking of Clarice.


          Over the horizon, the crimson sun rose on my back, the heat of its brilliant rays proof of the arrival of spring. The wind carried the three most cherished words I would ever hear in my life. My tears stopped and I slowly stood to face the spring sun.  The most beautiful sunrise I had ever witnessed filled my vision. I exhaled softly.
          "Clarice…" I vowed, " I will see you again… I promise" I let my words float in the breeze and carry to my love.  Her laughter filled the wind and I smiled.


"The golden moments in the stream of life rush past us and we see nothing but sand; the angels come to visit us, and we only know them when they are gone." ~George Elliot